Dear Weary Mama who just wants something for herself,
I get you. I am you. So even though I’m writing this to you, I’m also writing it to me.
I know you have plans and dreams in your heart to do great things, but you put them on hold so that you can pour out into the greatest “things”: your family. You give up so much of yourself. I know it’s hard. TRUST ME. I do. I promise.
But You know what? In every other job you could do on planet Earth, you are replaceable. Someone can be a better teacher, nurse, manager, accountant, cashier, or entrepreneur than you. You are IRREPLACEABLE as a mama. No one can take your place. God has given you these little people we call blessings. On days when you think you can’t take one more cup of spilled milk without losing it, remember that the blessing isn’t always easy.
However, He has equipped you to do the good work of raising arrows. Of marriage we say “the grass is green where you water it.” The same is true in motherhood. I spent last week throwing a selfish pity party like my 10 year old because I wasn’t getting what I wanted. It took me ALL WEEK to figure out why I was down. Even though some desires to “do more” don’t leave, I want to remind you that truly, the most important thing you are doing is being a godly wife and mother.
But press in and press on. The Lord has given you a great calling. Don’t despise it when Satan dangles the shiny thing in front of you. A lot of things glitter besides gold. And truly, even if the shiny thing was gold, I don’t think it would make you as happy as you think it would.
Mama, I have a feeling we are not that different, you and I. The days of motherhood can seem looooooong. But truly, the years are short. I’m trying to not wish this time away with my children. I’m trying not to lose sight of the prize set before me in motherhood. I’m trying not to think that there are bigger and better things for me out there besides motherhood. Does that mean we can’t do anything besides be “just a mom”? Of course not. I will be the first mom to admit that I have plenty of dreams and desires in my heart that I can’t wait to see come to fruition.
But I’m in the waiting.
And maybe you are too. Maybe this feels like a season where you are wandering the wilderness, trying to find your purpose in this life. It feels dry and lonely. You just want something more than what you’ve been given. I get it. I really, really do. I want something for me. Something that fills my cup. Something that gives me a sense of worth and appreciation. I selfishly desire praise from others for my hard work. It’s not every day that someone says “Wow, Mom! Thanks for cleaning the pee of the toilet seat!” “Mom, you’re so awesome! Thanks for washing my clothes for me!” “You’re the bomb, Mom! That dinner was AHHH-mazing!” Right? C’mon. Who’s with me?
And then I see 5 pairs of eyes staring at me and remind myself that my purpose is right in front of me. It’s not easy. I won’t ever say it is. But it’s worth it. Every sacrifice we’ve made for me to be home has been worth it. I wouldn’t trade homeschooling for anything. Honest. In time, I believe the desires of my heart will be fulfilled. Why? Because I am doing my best to delight myself in the Lord. I am doing my best to shut down the lies of the enemy that say this motherhood gig isn’t fulfilling. That it is an ungrateful “job” or that it doesn’t really matter. Name of Jesus all over that! It DOES matter. That’s why he tries so hard to convince you that it doesn’t. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
So press on, dear mama. I know it’s exhausting. But someday, these little children of ours will be grown and gone. Let’s not have any regrets. Don’t grow weary of doing good. Your season of harvest will come.