Did you know there are a bazillion options when it comes to homeschool curriculum and styles? It can be absolutely overwhelming. Add in five children and a mother who all learn differently and you will soon discover that one size does not fit all. Confession: for the past few years we have been using a curriculum that I wanted to use. I loved it, everything about it. The books, oh the books! I love reading and I love books, so any curriculum that uses real books to teach have my eye. However, as much as I loved this curriculum, our children weren’t thriving. We struggled and wrestled our way through school. As much as I hated to admit it, what I wanted wasn’t working. I had lost my joy for homeschooling. It felt like drudgery, to all of us, no matter how much I loved what we were using. Homeschooling wasn’t going as planned. It didn’t need a few changes, it needed a major overhaul!
Long story short, my health has been up and down for the past year. I have days where I am utterly exhausted and struggle to get dishes done and dinner on the table. Greg would leave for work and I would just want to climb straight back in the bed. Add in, again, five children who need to be taught, and let’s just say, the struggle was real. I knew the time had come to surrender my will over homeschool curriculum. God was asking me to lay down my desires and my pride when it came to our homeschool.
You see, from the very beginning my husband wanted us to use Abeka. For a time, we did, and then another curriculum would fancy my eye and
we’d I’d switch. And switch. And switch. And switch. I’m not exaggerating, by the way. I may have lost track of how many times we have switched. After a lot of prayer, and in the middle of the year, nonetheless, I went to Greg and discussed switching to Abeka. As you can imagine, the idea of switching mid-school year was less than thrilling to him. After a few weeks of discussion, we went ahead and decided to get this ball rolling. I took pictures and sold my beloved curriculum. Honestly, I almost cried as I packed up these books I had so loved. Hopes, dreams, and visions of what I wanted our homeschool to be got packed up with those boxes. I had to surrender what I thought was best for what was best for my family.
This has been our first week with Abeka, and I have to say it is an adjustment. But not a bad one, it’s just different than what we are used to. I might tell people “It’s everything I didn’t want for my homeschool.” With my surrender, also came my “all in” attitude. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. My attitude would most certainly overflow to my children, and I chose to be excited about what was to come!
As the boxes poured in of new curriculum, my excitement increased. All homeschool moms love ‘box day,’ am I right?? The kids would help me open the boxes and say “Is this for me? Is this my new book??” Their enthusiasm was contagious! I couldn’t help but be excited about what the future would hold.
Now, maybe I am speaking pre-maturely since it is only week one, but every single one of my kids has asked to do school this week! I will also say I have totally underestimated my children’s abilities. They have really amazed me with what the could handle this week. Abeka is a great program, but it is rigorous, and much more school-at-home than what we had been previously doing. I dare say I have enjoyed this week just as much as the kids have. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been so good.
joy in surrender
I’m learning that when we surrender our will to God’s, whatever the circumstance, that He will bless our obedience. It doesn’t mean things will be easy, but I completely believe that it will be worth it. So to some, this may seem like a small ordeal not even worth writing about. But to others, you will get it. You will understand the homeschool dilemma. The wanting what is best for your children, and knowing that it might not be exactly what you want. God can be trusted. When He prompted within my spirit to humble myself and go to Greg and say the dreaded “I need help” phrase, HE was faithful. I’m back to enjoying homeschooling again, and I’m so grateful. <3