Summer is upon us. Well, at least here in Georgia it is! My children are daily asking if we can go swimming because it’s “SOOOOOO hot!!!!!” If you are anything like me, you’re not the mom who likes to play in the pool – let alone get in a bathing suit. No, this is not about telling you to get in the pool with your children. Mine are just as happy knowing I’m there to watch them jump, slide, do cannonballs, and splash me while I’m on the sidelines! But this summer, I’ve decided to wage war against guilt and body-shaming. I’m starting first by kissing my scale goodbye.
Kiss It Goodbye!
I got a great deal on a brand new, tags still on it, bikini from Goodwill. I’m not a bikini girl, but well… I’m married to a man. For many a summers I have felt “too big” to wear anything but the mom-suit. The dreaded, ugly, one-piece or the almost cute-tankini-that’s-still-a-mom-suit. I would like to add in here, that I don’t plan on wearing this bikini to the beach, or public pool, or any where there might be way more people than I am comfortable being around!
Yesterday we went swimming and I was wearing my bikini and I really thought “Take that, Satan. You won’t shame me into not wearing something my husband wants to see me in because I struggle with my weight.” I waged war against body shaming myself yesterday, and I won. And it felt good!
But then do you know what I did?
I stepped on the scale before bed. Big fat eye roll.
I felt good about myself, felt good about the food choices I had made that day, just all around felt decent about myself. I subjected myself to the scale and immediately felt defeat. What was a victory become a loss all in the matter of seconds it took for the scale to tell me my gravitational pull.
Who’s with me? I know I’m not alone!
This weight-loss/health journey has not been easy for me. I still battle sugar cravings. I still battle the scale not telling me what my worth is. So today, I decided to just “Kiss It Goodbye!” I’m done with my scale. I am declaring today that it no longer defines my worth. It no longer defines how I feel about myself and my body. It’s gone. Kind of. I did hide it away because my children think it’s fun to see how much they weigh! Oh, to be a child again and think that was fun!
Instead, I will let me clothes tell the story. I will listen to my body to tell me if I am eating the right foods and enough food. I sold my FitBit long ago because I was tired of feeling like I wasn’t measuring up when I didn’t reach my goals because I knew, like the scale, it couldn’t tell me my worth. I’m getting back into being disciplined and working out. All the while trying to have no expectations of what God is going to do.
I am surrendering my will to His. My prayer has been “Lord, give me the desires of your heart. Change my taste buds. Help me to move because my body is capable. Help me to be thankful for the health you have give me these 32 years. Let me use self-control. Help me to not sway to the side of neglecting my body or of obsessing over my body. Let me walk in freedom.”
I have resolved in my heart to walk in freedom this summer. Join me, and kiss your scale goodbye… or your FitBit…. or whatever it is that is holding you back from freedom. The thing that makes you sigh when you’ve had a good day. Kiss it goodbye!
Let’s do this together!