I hate to tell you….
but I’m still working on losing the physical weight.
I have learned, however, that the spiritual weight I had been carrying around over those years was so much heavier than the physical weight. The bitterness, anger, unforgiveness….. Revelation Wellness® taught me (and trained me to help others!) realize that I can walk in freedom. Freedom from sugar addiction. Freedom from guilt and shame. Freedom from past sin. Freedom from negative body image. That the Lord cares more about the condition of my heart than the number on the scale. When I surrender to His will, when I ask Him to reveal the greater truths of my physical condition based on what’s inside my heart… It might hurt. But it’s where real weight loss begins.
My Weight Loss Journey becomes My Health Journey
As of today, I am still on a health journey. It’s no longer a weight-loss journey. It is about being healthy and whole. It is about living from a place of love and not fear. There are some underlying health issues I am currently dealing with. My friend and fellow Revelation Wellness® sister, Michelle, is a health coach. She has been helping me with coping with my daily stress and addressing my adrenal fatigue. I know it’s going to be a slow recovery, but I am so thankful for her help and her wisdom.
Weight loss is a by-product of my heart being in alignment with God. When I am in alignment with Him, it is easy to make wise food choices. It’s easy for view exercise as my get-to and an act of worship unto Him. If I am out of alignment, the cravings get harder to battle. Not only do the physical symptoms become more of a struggle, but other battles- like not be an angry mother, become more difficult as well.
A few months ago, I admitted to some of my Revelation Wellness® sisters that I struggled with sugar. I know that might sound silly, but it was true. I was a sugar addict. It became an idol. I felt deprived without it. My orphan spirit would rise up and say “It’s not fair that I can’t have ______ while everyone else can!” I remember crying because of the grip it had on me! I have come to realize that heart work is hard work, but it’s where true freedom lies.
A very tough question I had to ask myself was:
If I surrender to God and do it His way, and end up with a deeper relationship with Him but no weight loss, is it worth it?
This is a very hard question to answer. Especially when you want to lose weight. The Lord brought me to a place where I could answer this question with a confident “Yes!” It isn’t always easy to walk my answer out. But He is faithful to be right there when I stumble and fall.
Now, I try to stay off the scale. I know it’s not a good measurement of my health. If I am going to be concerned with weight loss, I use measurements instead. But even then, I am starting to rely more and more on how I feel. How much energy I have. Is my body functioning properly? Am I sleeping well? Do I feel irritable and cranky? What is going on in my heart that is affecting my attitude.
I want to live brave and free. I want to be healthy. That is more important to me than being skinny or having a certain number in the size of my jeans. Skinny does not equal healthy. The goal is no longer a number on the scale. It is about the health of my heart. My mindset towards my body has changed. I know work out because I get-to. Rest is now acceptable. I’ve learned that I can honor God through the way I take care of my body. He does care about the way I treat this one body I’ve been given. I want to be physically able to do whatever He calls me to do.
So, while the scale may tell me I weigh more than I did when I first got married, I am finding freedom. I “weigh less” now than I did just a year ago. I will continue to do the hard, heart work in my life to stay free. Free from obsession. Free from neglect. I will walk the line of freedom. I will fall. But it’s no longer about being on or off the fitness wagon. It’s about a way of life. I hope that you too, will find freedom.
Do you relate to parts of my story? Are you ready to find freedom from the dieting and obsessive exercising? You can work with me and I will help lead you on a journey to freedom!